I'm going to write about myself. (^-^)
There is a lot that builds up my personality. Like everyone, my personality is very unique and almost no one in the world can understand my every action.
The first aspect I want to point out about myself is that my activeness is very variable. At certain times, I am very hyper, like I am full of sugar and caffeine. At other times, I am very lazy and I don't want to move at all. When energetic, I move in random directions and wave my limbs randomly. That's where my "floppy fish" gesture came from. At times when I am lazy, I just want to sit in the folds of a couch and fall asleep. Usually, the temperature determines my activeness. If it is hot, I'm lazy, and if it is cold, I want to run around randomly while flailing my arms.
Also, I am a somewhat generous and humble person. I dislike complimenting myself. Just writing this paragraph makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. I suppose it really depends on the person I'm talking to. If it is a complete stranger, and he asks me for a throw on my yoyo, I will probably say yes. But if its one of my friends, I quickly jam the yoyo into my pocket and say no.
One major part of my personality is how unfocused I am for activities like writing this blog, until the end when it's almost due or almost time to sleep. I push it all towards the last few minutes, then my brain suddenly focuses on the more important activity and runs full speed at that. I could cause this procrastinating, but it is caused by my lack of attention. For example, I might get distracted by my book, my yoyo, the neighbors across the street, or a bug. Then I think about that for a while until I realize that my time is limited for the main activity, so I do that for a while. After some time, I get distracted by something else. That cycle goes on until the last minutes of the time I get to do the main activity assigned. But no matter what, I always get the assignment done on time.
Now I have a bunch of pet peeves, like most people in the world. My first one is that I HATE being late to anything. I'm usually way too early, but that is fine as long as I'm not late. I hate being late because whenever I'm late, I always have to worry about being late the whole way to the destination. After I get there, people get annoyed at me and I miss a lot of stuff. Another one of my pet peeves is that I hate fingerprints and those little blobs of dried spit on all screens besides touch screens. Dust doesn't matter either. Those little blobs and fingerprints just ruin the new look to the screen. This is the reason that every time I open my computer, I always let the sun reflect off of the screen to see whether or not there are any fingerprints or blobs of saliva. If there is, I wipe it with a cloth until it is gone.
Those are the main parts of my personality.
"There is a lot that builds up my personality." <---This is inherently an awkward phrase. A personality isn't "built," but made up of, or composed of something. Maybe "My personality is multifaceted?" Or "Many things make up my personality?"
ReplyDelete"The first aspect I want to point out about myself is that my activeness is very variable." <---You can take out the "The first aspect I want to point out" because it's a useless phrase. Also, "activeness" doesn't mix well with the word "variable." Maybe try "My liveliness has its ups and downs?" or variations thereof?
"At certain times, I am very hyper, like I am full of sugar and caffeine." <--- "At certain times, I am very hyper, _as if_ I am full of sugar and caffeine."
"At times when I am lazy," <--- "During my lazy periods,"
"Activeness" isn't really a good word... Try using another synonym - the thesaurus is your friend.
"Also, I am a somewhat generous and humble person." <---- "I am _also_ a somewhat generous and humble person." (You want to put the "also" after "I am")
"If it is a complete stranger, and he asks me for a throw on my yoyo, I will probably say yes. But if its one of my friends, I quickly jam the yoyo into my pocket and say no." <---Explain why. Most people don't have yo-yos, so they don't understand this behavior. Is it because the yo-yo is something private?
"One major part of my personality" <---A major _aspect_ aspect of my personality.
"is how unfocused I am for activities like writing this blog," <---- "for activities like _blogging_" (Never use three words when you can replace it with one.)
"I push it all towards the last few minutes, then my brain suddenly focuses on the more important activity and runs full speed at that." <----"I put it off until the last few minutes, when my brain suddenly focuses and runs at full speed."
"I could cause this procrastinating, but it is caused by my lack of attention." <---- "This procrastination is a direct result of my lack of attention."
"Then I think about that for a while until I realize that my time is limited for the main activity, so I do that for a while." <----You use two "for a whiles" in the same sentence. Rephrase to, "My mind wanders for a while until I realize that my time is limited, and I buckle up and get down to work."
"After some time, I get distracted by something else." <---You use "some" twice in this sentence. "After I concentrate for a bit, I get distracted by something else."
"That cycle goes on until the last minutes of the time I get to do the main activity assigned." <---"This cycle continues up until the very last minutes I have to finish the assignment."
ReplyDelete"Now I have a bunch of pet peeves, like most people in the world." <--- "Like most people in the world, I also have many pet peeves."
"I'm usually way too early, but that is fine as long as I'm not late." <----"...which is fine by me as long as I'm not late."
"I hate being late because whenever I'm late, I always have to worry about being late the whole way to the destination." <---You use the word "late" three times in one sentence.
"After I get there, people get annoyed at me and I miss a lot of stuff." <---Never use the word "stuff"; it's too general.
"Another one of my pet peeves is that I hate fingerprints and those little blobs of dried spit on all screens besides touch screens." <----"Another pet peeve is fingerprints and smudges on computer and tv screens.
"Dust doesn't matter either." <---"I dont' care about dust. It's those little blogs and fingerprints that get to me.
"This is the reason that every time I open my computer, I always let the sun reflect off of the screen to see whether or not there are any fingerprints or blobs of saliva." <--- "That's why I always check my screen for smudges every time I open up my laptop."
"Those are the main parts of my personality." <----You could go with a stronger conclusion than this, though your feel for it will come naturally with time.
Assignment for today: Pick a book you've just finished, and analyze one very/extremely/really/seriously specific thing about it. 350+ words. Maybe the use of a specific symbol, or what you think of a character, or what message you think the author is trying to get across.
Or you can work on your 1000 word post.
By the way, I was nitpicky today, but I like it a lot. You're improving =)
ReplyDelete