There are three groups of people/things that influenced me the most. They are my friends and family, teachers and tutors, and books.
Friends and family are very influential to my personality. They are around me so much, I can't help but to pick up some of their habits and sayings. For example, I picked up my habit of sometimes playing with my hair from my good friend, Jeremy. He always did it in fifth grade, and it's really distracting to look at, so it sticks to my mind. Also, grades in school are greatly influenced by friends and family. If friends have straight A's, but you only have B's, you think, "Everyone else can get straight A's, why can't I?" and then you work hard to get to their level. But if friends get C's, then you think that you're at the top of the world in terms of grades, and you stop studying as hard and stoop to your friends' level. Also, if your parents set high expectations and push you hard to reach them, then you slowly reach their expectations. Those are the ways parents and friends influence me.
Teachers and tutors are obviously very influential to everyone. They are the cause of most of my book smarts. I will thank them when I am graduating from college. Tutors give people some habits because they are with them usually one every week, but they don't really influence peoples' personality. Teachers and Tutors really help me learn.
Books are amazing. Each one is a little world that a reader can immerse themselves in, while learning. I can learn from books without even trying. A good sentence in a book or a good style of story writing just sticks in my head, whether I want it to or not. That way, I get the author's flow and I also write better sentences. With books, I can entertain myself and learn at the same time. Books are an extremely influential aspect in my life.
Friends and family, teachers and tutors, and books all are very influential to me and helped make me the person I am today.
"They are around me so much, I can't help but to pick up some of their habits and sayings." <----""They are around me so much that I can't help but to pick up some of their habits and sayings."
ReplyDelete"He always did it in fifth grade, and it's really distracting to look at, so it sticks to my mind." <----It's a distracting gesture he always did in fifth grade, and it stuck in my mind."
"Also, grades in school are greatly influenced by friends and family." <---This isn't wrong, but it uses passive voice. Try "My friends and family greatly influence my grades in school."
"If friends have straight A's, but you only have B's, you think, "Everyone else can get straight A's, why can't I?" and then you work hard to get to their level." <----This isn't technically wrong, but you switch to second-person here, when you probably would be better-served with first person. This is about you specifically, afterall, so it only makes sense to use "I".
"Also, if your parents set high expectations and push you hard to reach them, then you slowly reach their expectations. Those are the ways parents and friends influence me." <---You switch POV abruptly here. You move from "you" to "me" within the space of two sentences, throwing the reader off. Maybe be a bit more specific? "My parents have always set high expectations, and they've pushed me to become a better person." That's a lot better than second-person, see?
"Teachers and tutors are obviously very influential to everyone. They are the cause of most of my book smarts." <--- Again, you don't need to say that they're influential to "everyone." Why not just say "me"? Also, "cause of my books smarts" is awkward - I don't think any people actually use that phrase. Maybe "Help shape my intellectual development?"
"Tutors give people some habits because they are with them usually one every week, but they don't really influence peoples' personality." <---I pick up some habits from tutors, but my personality remains largely untouched.
"Books are amazing. Each one is a little world that a reader can immerse themselves in, while learning. I can learn from books without even trying." <--- You switch from third person to first person again. Choose a POV and stick with it: "Books are amazing. Each one is a world that I can immerse myself in. I love learning from books, from the words and thoughts of others."
Overall, very good. It'd be better if you were more specific, like when you referenced a specific person who influenced you in a specific way. Or maybe a book. I know that one of the books that influenced me was "Fire and Hemlock" - it was a book that made me want to write. As for people - maybe your parents, who set an example for you. "My mom and dad work into the late hours of the night just to put a roof over my head and food on a table - their examples drives me to become a better person." Of course, that's kind of cliche, but you get the point. You want to be specific - cite specific examples.
Assignment for today (if you haven't already started yours): Answer the question: "Who are you?"
This should be an analysis of who you are as a person. What personality/character do you have? analyze every detail about your own self that you can think of. What qualities and traits do you have? Go for character, not physical description.
500+ words, make it detailed! The reader should know what type of person you are by the end of it!