Today was the day of the swim meet. It started with waking up at 8:00 in the morning, which was really early for the average 10:30 wake up time of summer. I was really groggy and upset for waking up so early. I had to get to agoura high school by 9:00, so I woke up pretty late already. I ate breakfast, which was a glass of milk and a peanut butter and nutella sandwich. We then drove towards the pool at agoura. On the way there, we were ticketed by a police because our car registration was out of date, which made us a little late.
When I finally got there, we started warm-up, the coach gave me a team suit which he said we had to wear. It was really tight. I got in the water, which was the perfect temperature at about 85 degrees. Then, we did some warm-ups and a relay, which we won. After all of that, we were ready for the main events. I won two, fifty and a hundred yard freestyle, and got second place in a fifty and hundred yard backstroke. It was exhilarating when I raced against six other people and won.
After my first actual event, I started to wonder why I didn't want to come to this swim meet in the first place. After a while of sitting and wondering, it struck me. The waiting was excruciatingly agonizing. While a person is waiting, he would have to sit in the burning sun for a long time with nothing to do but to watch the swimmers swim in the nice, cold water. Overall, this experience was very rewarding, but I would not like to do it again.
"On the way there, we were ticketed by a police because our car registration was out of date, which made us a little late."
ReplyDeleteIt's awkward for someone to say, "I was ticketed by the police." Try, "The police gave us a ticket."
"When I finally got there, we started warm-up, the coach gave me a team suit which he said we had to wear." <--- should be changed to, "I got there right as we started warm-up, and the coach handed me a wetsuit to wear."
"The waiting was excruciatingly agonizing" <--- you want to change this to "the wait in between races was agonizing." First of all, "excruciating" is the same as 'agonizing, so there's no need to be redundant. Second, you want to specify what the 'waiting' really is.
"Overall, this experience was very rewarding, but I would not like to do it again." you want to specify that the costs outweigh the benefits, with something like, "Even though ____, I still ____"
Anyways, I like your train of thought. Assignment for tomorrow: Write an analysis of Fahrenheit 451. The book "explored the effects of television and mass media on the reading of literature." What, in your opinion, motivated Ray Bradbury to write this book? What is he trying to get across? Is the world he predicted beginning to come true?
Oh, and I think your mom would like the book. Recommend it to her, see what you think? It's a classic.
Also, read this: http://www.tor.com/stories/2009/09/fahrenheit-451-part-1
Sorry, I meant your assignment for _today_, since you haven't posted yet. And no summarizing! Only analyzing! Three paragraphs, though it shouldn't take you longer than forty minutes.
ReplyDeleteOh, and watch this:http://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers?feature=chclk
The author of Looking for Alaska is a famous vlogger, and he talks about the place that inspired him to write the book. He based the boarding school in the book off of the one he went to as a teenager.